LIFESTYLE

BOYS WILL BE BOYS

Fathers Together sent FK out to catch up with one of London’s sexiest but may I also add most sophisticated models to give her the 3rd degree on not only her career but also her perception of fathers.

FK	How long have you been modelling?
Racheal Ritfield	I started when I was 15 but I've been full-time for 3 years now since I graduated from University with a degree in Anthropology
FK	What inspired you to become a model?
Racheal Ritfield	I always wanted to be an ambassador for UNICEF. That was my goal as a child, modeling 'happened' because I was discovered while living in Belgium. I really loved it and the beautiful thing, now that I have reached a certain level of success, is that I can be a spokeswoman or ambassador for various charitable organisations so I'm still fulfilling different aspects of my personality in some way.
FK	With every profession there are highs and lows. What are yours?
Racheal Ritfield	Highs? Well, I love travelling the world and being in great positions to meet such a wide spectrum of interesting people from all different walks of life. I also love dressing up and being made to be beautiful, its fun and I get paid for it. People underestimate the lows: it’s a lot of hard work in terms of travelling at times. Recently, in the space of 12 days I was in Milan, Paris, New York, Madrid, Ibiza, London, Amsterdam and Barcelona, that's very tiring and its hard see friends and family because you're always away from home.... But the ones who love you and want you to do well understand...
FK	What’s the most exotic location you have visited as a result of your career?
Racheal Ritfield	I've been very fortunate in my career and I'm so grateful for that, some of my favourite places I've been to for my career are Ghana, Miami, Antigua, I love the south of France.... Those were my favourites.
FK	Can you tell us some of the videos, films, commercials etc that you have graced with your beauty?
Racheal Ritfield	I recently featured in the new 50 cent video, in the past I have also appeared in a Craig David video amongst many others I did a show for MTV called Hip-hop Candy, I did Project Catwalk 2 for Sky 1 and I'm currently filming Project Catwalk 3 as well, I did a series of Lynx commercials for MTV, I've worked for various international fashion houses globally I did a major billboard campaign earlier this year for Akademiks in the USA and later on this year you will see me in various publications for Madame V lingerie.
FK	Are you married or do you have a partner?
Racheal Ritfield	I'm married to my career.
FK	Do you have any children?
Racheal Ritfield	No I don't hve any children yet.
FK	Do you plan to have any?
Racheal Ritfield	I love children very much and I look forward to having some adorable little munchkins in the not-too-distant future
FK	How important do you feel it is for a male figure to be present within the household?
Racheal Ritfield	I find at this day in ages woman are so much more independent, we no longer 'need' a man in the household necessarily. But I do think that for the emotional development of a child it is important to have both parents to create a balance. And I have no respect for parents who abandon their children: whether they were planned or an "accident" people should take responsibility for their actions or put a condom on! You can no longer claim "ignorance" in my opinion!
FK	What’s your earliest childhood memory involving your father?
Racheal Ritfield	My father moved to Miami when I was 3 years old and I remember when my mom and I went over to pay him a surprise visit him and we didn't know where to find him but someone told him we were in Miami and he came out the lift one day as we got back and all 3 of us burst into tears and we stood there and held each other for ages. Until today, that is still the only memory I have of ever being a part of a family and it still brings tears to my eyes. I don't really see my father much (my parents split up a long time ago), but I hope he loves me and that will never change...
FK	What do you think of the term 'Baby-father'?
Racheal Ritfield	Many people see it as an offensive term; words don't offend me at all! Baby father = your baby's father And I see it just as that; connotations are down to the individual...
FK	What is your idea of a useless father?
Racheal Ritfield	A man who thinks his input in fatherhood stopped when he gave sperm!
FK	What’s the most embarrassing moment of your career?
Racheal Ritfield	At a fashion show once where there was loads of press, I wore some beautiful outfits, but I was so taken by the amazing crowd reaction that I didn't realise one of my breasts came out and I took about 5 steps before my PR agent jumped on catwalk and covered "essensuals" hahahahaha
FK	What country do you originate from?
Racheal Ritfield	I'm born in Suriname, South America
FK	I know you must be busy! What project's are you currently working on?
Racheal Ritfield	I'm currently filming season 3 of Project Catwalk for Sky One
FK	If you had to choose a celebrity father, who would it be and why?
Racheal Ritfield	That's very difficult to say because what people portray of themselves in the media and what they are in real life can be very different so I would never judge the book by its cover.
FK	What star sign are you?
Racheal Ritfield	Capricorn
FK	I have been told you have or work for your very own charity. Tell me more?
Racheal Ritfield	I was a spokeswoman/ goodwill ambassador for the African Caribbean Leukaemia Trust And I was in the process of setting up my own charity when I came across an amazing foundation called Champions for Children which I will be very much involved with in future. I'm a strong believer in education and the improvement of education systems globally so all children can benefit from that and create a better world with their knowledge given. Knowledge = power!
FK	What’s the raunchiest photo shoot you have ever done?
Racheal Ritfield	I don't do raunchy, one can be sexy without being raunchy and I have my limits in that whole area that I stick to...
FK	Any advice to up and coming young models out there?
Racheal Ritfield	Make sure you have an education to fall back on! There's nothing sexier than an intelligent beauty!
FK	Can you speak any other languages?
Racheal Ritfield	Yes: Dutch, French, German, English, Surinamese and I also studies Latin and Japanese. So between all of them, I can pick up bits in most western languages.
FK	Would you date a guy with kids? Why or why not?
Racheal Ritfield	Any man that respects themselves and respects me is ok by me. Relationships don't always work out, it happens, the kids shouldn't be in the way of new found love or happiness, they should be a part of it. It’s a lot of responsibility speaking from a young woman with no children's perspective but If I love someone, I love them: the good, the bad, the ugly and the kids! Hahaha
FK	Plans for the future?
Racheal Ritfield	I pray that my career can keep going from strength to strength, I write a lot of poetry so I'd like to continue to be inspired, I have amazing friends around me, so I hope all the goodness will continue and many new beautiful things will add on! I've always wanted to delve into various aspects of entertainment and philanthropy so with a little faith, everything will happen in due time, in the mean time check my websites www.rachelritfeld.com and www.myspace.com/rachelritfeld for any updates on my career.             Thanks Rachel

BOYS AND THEIR TOYS

Most women like to ride something strong and powerful, but don’t get it twisted............we just found out that men do too!!

It used to be all about powerful cars but the latest trend is the new super bikes. We sent our reporter FK to catch up with one of the UKs leading motor cycle clubs and find out more.......

AlphaBikers is a motorcycle riders club which was set up in 2003 by Tony Attille to put on various types of motor based events to raise money for nominated charities by utilising the talents of its rider and non rider members allowing them the opportunity to do what they love doing in a safe and controlled environment. Many of the sports bikes being used on the ever decreasing road spaces of London are capable of well over 100mph, so while our government persist on badgering four wheel users, the two wheel option becomes a more viable mode of transportation which is why associations like Alphabikers and The Supreme Riders were set up to aid motorists through their transition offering riding classes, protective clothing and reasonably priced motorcycles for first time out or experienced riders. Alpha Bikers organize demonstration shows and competitions for riders to compete against one another showing off their bike handling skills and tricks. These are well attended family fun day events which aid to entice new riders but also to emphasize that there is a time and place for everything and the streets are not the place to practice. Diabetes UK, the Afro-Caribbean Leukemia Trust (ACLT)Lupus UK and DWIB Leukemia Trust are among the recipients of their fundraising efforts while Barclays Bank, Western Union, Choice FM radio station, Lloyds Pharmacies and New Nation Newspaper are a few of the respected and instantly recognisable companies who have sponsored them on previous events. Alphabikers and Supreme Riders recognize that the increase in biker related incidents are on the increase in the form of road traffic fatalities or criminal activity which is why they welcome working alongside the police, advanced riding training centre’s and crime prevention authorities to curb this trend. Unfortunately the summertime in this country only allows them a very small window to safely plan, implement and execute the number of events they are able to put on, so look out for more info on the websites, MySpace accounts or grapevine. For more information on the alphabikers and events throughout the year check out www.myspace.com/alphabikers

MENS HEALTH

Stress....one of the biggest killers of the male population!!

Stress can hit us in all shapes and forms and at different times throughout our life and can come from any situation or thought that makes us feel frustrated, angry, or anxious. What may be stressful to one person is not necessarily stressful to another.. No one is immune from stress and it is a documented fact that stress is a killer.
So what is stress? An easy to digest answer to this question would be 'WORRY' and 'ANXIETY'.

Anxiety is a feeling of apprehension or fear. The source of this uneasiness is not always known or recognized, which can add to the distress or discomfort you feel.

Worry is basically fears or concerns and although everyone suffers from this we all handle our fears in different ways. Some people have fears for the future, present concerns or even feelings or concerns about the past.
In some cases its much easier to dwell on a fear or a concern then it is to accept it or do something about it. Some people feel as if their is no solution and if that is the case then i hope the following information will help you.

THE EFFECTS OF STRESS

Our body reacts chemically to the fear that worrying entails. As soon as you become scared or anxious about something your body releases adrenalin. This is a result of the 'flight or fight' reflex that our bodies has which allows us to overcome or run away from any thing or situation that threatens physically. The more a person worries, the the worse it gets and a sudden rush of adrenalin can lead to a butterflies in the stomach sensation, headaches or feeling very nauseous. Other symptons may include:
• Twitching or trembling
• Muscle tension,
• Headaches
• Sweating
• Dry mouth, (difficulty swallowing)
• Abdominal pain (may be the only symptom of stress, especially in a child)
Sometimes other symptoms accompany anxiety:
• Dizziness
• Rapid or irregular heart rate
• Rapid breathing
• Diarrhea or frequent need to urinate
• Fatigue
• Irritability, including loss of your temper
• Sleeping difficulties and nightmares
• Decreased concentration
• Sexual problems

Sleeping Problems:
It can become very difficult to sleep as with most cases you feel worse during the night. This can be as aresult of a number of reasons such as, as you are attempting to fall off to sleep you do not have the daytime distractions from the wories that were lurking in your mind during the day. Then as a reult, it is very easy to become very anxious about your lack of sleep which adds to everything else. When you are tired, you are likely to worry more.
Absorbing your self confidence:
As your problems pile up the less able you may feel you are able to cope with them thus giving you a sense of helplessness. This can destroy your confidence thus making you even more vunerable to fears. |Some people experience what is known as 'panic attacks' as a build up of these feelings.

HOW TO DEAL WITH STRESS AND WORRY

You may feel that the best way of dealing with your stress is to have a direct talk with someone who is detached from your life and in some cases talking to a psycotherapist or councillor can help you arrive at a better understanding of your worries and their effects. They can also help support you in doing something about them. A pratical approach is 'cognitive behaviour therapy' which looks at the way in which our actual thought processes effect our lives and cause problems. It teaches you techniques for identifying and dispersing destructive thought patterns.

(If you think that you may benefit or may be interested in any form of talking treatment do not hesitate to consult your local GP so he or she can refer you or get in touch with any of the organisations listed at the end of thgis section.)

There are also many tthings that you can do yourself to help such as;

TRY WRITING A LIST

Try to document exactly what it is that is troubling you or causing a concern so that you can see it. Most people react more positively to things that they can actually see and 'worry' or 'stress' itself is invisible to the naked eye, this may help. Use statements rather then ie. 'What will happen if i dont pay my phone bill?' write, 'I am worried that i wont be able to pay my phone bill'. This focuses on the fear or concern. As time goes on you may find that you may be able to cross things off your list giving you a sense of achievement and providing you with a feeling that you are not only coping with your fears but are also doing something about them. Another constructive way to deal with your fears is to put them into perspective by writing down the actual reasons why something bad may not happen. This may help you to see what situations are actually worth worrying about.

ASSERTIVE ACTION

Most problems and situations can be sorted out in some shape or manner and although we may not have the answer at the time it is usually lurking somewhere in the background. Try and consider each preoccupying thought individually and then decide whether their is something that can be done about it. Make a list of possible solutions with whatever seems the most concerning at the top.
In some cases it is a lack of confidence that leads to a lack of assertiveness and in this instance 'assertiveness classes' may help. You can enquire at your local library or look in your local newspaper for nearby classes.

TAKE CONTROL

It is often easier said then done but attempt to confine your problems to certain times and places. In order for this to work it is very important to be strict and not allow them to intrude on your thoughts at other times. Perhaps, visualise a box or a bucket in which to place them, which yopu can open at a later date or time. Use the phrase 'I'll worry about it late' literally.

IMPROVE YOUR DIET

Not only eating well but eating at regular intervals is very beneficial as unstable sugar levels in the blood can lead to jittery feelings that inturn can contribute to your state of mind. You should alo avoid alcohol and smoking as these also effect ones mood. It is a good idea to reduce your amount of caffeine intake. this is not only found in beverages such as tea and coffee but also in various 'fizzy' drinks. They constain stimulants which can heighten the physical effects of tension.

EXERCISE AND PHYSICAL ACTIVITY

Exercise is excellent as it helps divert the focus from your mind to your body. It relieves tension and uses up the adrenalin which is produced. Their is no need to exercise for long periods or to visit your gym as a good upbeat walk can be equaly as effective. It is also good for the heart.
Taking regular exercise (Perhaps 40mins three times a week) is known to improve peoples moods and help them to feel better about themselves.

COMPLEMENTARY THERAPY

In the hustle and bustle of this day and age a great deal of people have now resulted in treating themselves with what is known as alternative medicines, such as herbal remedies, Bach Flower remedies, Accupuncture,Homeopathy and traditional Chinese medicines. Some people see this as a more natural and safer way of dealing with their problems and also gives them more control over their own treatment then say, orthodox Western medicine.

It is always wise to contact a qualified practitioner who can consult you as whole person and not just look at your symptons as sypmtons can often change.
They can advise you on other treatments such as reflexology, aromatherapy, yoga, massage,meditation, relaxation classes etc

F2G's RECOMMENDED READ.....
We pick a book that we feel will make beneficial reading for fathers who may be experiencing problems or just who want advice and information on getting the most out of being a Father

Fathers Matter
Celia Conrad

Fathers Matter is a guide to contact on separation and divorce. This best-selling handbook, now in its second edition, is the first and only step-by-step legal guide written for fathers seeking or struggling to maintain contact with their children after separation and divorce.
Whether you are a father in this predicament or someone connected to a father in that situation, if you’re reading this page then you will be interested in obtaining legal assistance and/or information on fathers’ rights and child custody issues.
If you want to save thousands of pounds on legal fees and avoid incurring unnecessary costs and find out what your rights are and help yourself, this thoroughly revised and expanded second edition will enable you to do just that.

In the words of Bob Geldof KBE:
"I wish this book had been around when I went through my contemptible experiences at the hands of the Family Courts. It would have helped explain what was happening to me. It could have been the clear, cool voice of knowledge, experience, understanding and sympathy that is necessary to take men through the grief and pain and loss of having their children taken from them simply on the basis of their being male – a very suspect condition if you’re a father, at least in the blinkered, myopic, outdated and reactionary view of our legal hierarchy. This book is a timely, invaluable guide around the many hurdles and obstructions the Courts will put in a man’s way to stop him being a dad to his kids. Read it and learn. Then try and change things so that children may know their dad loves them even if the law does not."
(Comments on the First Edition)

About The Author

Celia Conrad studied Law at King’s College, University of London, and qualified as a solicitor in October 1994. She worked exclusively as a family law practitioner for several ‘magic circle’ firms in London until leaving full time private practice in 2001. She continued to work part-time in private practice while she researched and wrote the first edition of Fathers Matter which was published in October 2003. Since leaving private practice she has continued to research and write and work as a freelance Legal Consultant on Family Law matters. She is interested in all areas of Family law reform, but has a particular interest in the field of Child law.

HAVE YOU READ THIS BOOK? IF SO, WHY NOT GIVE US YOUR COMMENTS BY EMAILING US goodreading@fatherstogether.com

YOUR RECOMMENDED READ.....

The Alchemist
by Paulo Coelho

Synopses & Reviews

Paulo Coelho's enchanting novel has inspired a devoted following around the world, and this tenth anniversary edition, with a new introduction from the author, will only increase that following. This story, dazzling in its powerful simplicity and inspiring wisdom, is about an Andalusian shepherd boy named Santiago who travels from his homeland in Spain to the Egyptian desert in search of a treasure buried in the Pyramids. Along the way he meets a Gypsy woman, a man who calls himself king, and an alchemist, all of whom point Santiago in the direction of his quest. No one knows what the treasure is, or if Santiago will be able to surmount the obstacles along the way. But what starts out as a journey to find worldly goods turns into a discovery of the treasures found within. Lush, evocative, and deeply humane, the story of Santiago is an eternal testament to the transforming power of our dreams and the importance of listening to our hearts.

FK ( South London)
I found the Alchemist to be a great and definantly an uplifting read. I had heard alot of hype surrounding the book and wanted to see what it was all about. The book definantly lived up to my expectations....so much so that ive now read it 4 times.

Dianne Laidlaw (East London)
This story is based on a young boy called Santiago, who is the main character of the novel. He gives up being a shepherd in his home town in search of treasure. This book is about his journey and the people that he encounters on the way.

Paulo’s style of writing for me is very simplistic. . The lessons which where being taught in the book was well written but i yearned for a higher level of complexity and more of an intellectual challenge than what I got.
I found this book would have been a better read for teenagers rather than adults, or maybe for people just introducing themselves in the world of spirituality.
Having said that Paulo writes with an edge of innocence which is easily projected in the way that he carries his stories and every page is a turner from start to finish.
This book is tangled with many essential lessons which is beneficial for man kind for the turn of the century. It’s main lesson is that we are not in control of our lives as much as we think we are, and that sometimes fate takes over and can lead you into much awakened states of living. It teaches us about love, spiritual enlightenment, and the importance of realising signs in our lives. Paulo writes in reference to many historical religious books like the Bible, Qu’ran and some Egyptian mythology.
The main premise for the book is:
“"When you pursue your personal legend the universe will conspire with you to make it happen”

DJ Kofi
Thats one of  the most inspiring books out there, other recommended reads are the "celestine prophecy", "many lives many masters" and "the tipping point".

Garry Stabana
I have read The Alchemist. I had heard rave reviews about the book and felt it was something i should read. It is the tale of a young boy who decides to listen to his heart and follow his dreams instead of just accepting what life threw at him. It is one of those books that is simple yet profound and everyone should read at some point as it doesn't take long. However i do feel that it is a bit over-rated.

Alison Writy
I thought the book was excellent.

Mathew Payne
I found the book to be very uplifting. Ive read his other books too and ive got to say out off all them this is probably the best. I advise everyone to have a read.

HAVE YOU READ THIS BOOK? IF SO, WHY NOT GIVE US YOUR COMMENTS BY EMAILING US goodreading@fatherstogether.com